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XXX - Music from Thinking XXX
Category: Album Reviews
Posted by Mark Runyon | March 16, 2005 | 07:02 PM
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Grade: D+ | Genre:
Club
Summary: XXX is an assembly of mediocre tunes that want to arouse but instead simply tease. |
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 I'm sure everyone here has had a dream at one point in their life. Some want to be fire fighters. Some want to be doctors. Some want to be exotic dancers. There will be no judging of other people's dreams here or I will swiftly kick you out of this review. So, what do we need to pursue this dream of becoming an exotic dancer? Well you could have a poll installed in your workout room. You could enroll in the cardio strip tease class at your local, trendy gym. You can head over to Frederick's for a bountiful selection of trashy g-strings. There is something missing in our preparation. Ah of course, how could we forget the music? We could certainly go with a smart, high browed, 70's flavored mix like Dimitri from Paris' A Night at the Playboy Mansion, but how many high browed mixes have you ever really heard at a strip club? Enter XXX, the seedy collection of tunes just sleazy enough to fit that need.
Unfortunately, it's not good for much else save poll rotations at a struggling club. XXX is an assembly of mediocre tunes that want so badly to arouse but instead simply tease. Virgin Tears' "Rock and Roll" sounds like a watered down Daft Punk song. Felix the Housecats' "Choochie Coo" is just plain silly. Futon's remake of "I Wanna Be Your Dog" is flat and just runs through the motions. That could have been the perfect song for this collection in more capable hands. This is such a pathetic group. You'd think a musician sitting down with thoughts of porn stars stripping to their exotic musical flavorings would thrust that creative edge towards finding some raw sex slathered beats or, at least, a deep sensual vibe. It just wasn't to be, I guess.
I have to give the producers credit for at least attempting to add some legitimacy to this ailing collection. Goldfrapp's "Black Cherry" and the Velvet Underground's "Here She Comes" are great tracks that I would definitely include if I were putting together this collection. Not to mention, I now have an entirely different perspective on "Here She Comes" that, come to think of it, could have been what Lou Reed was getting at from the beginning. That logically begs the question, what tracks should have been included here? Let's keep the Velvets and Goldfrapp and add to the mix Scissor Sisters' "Lovers in the Backseat", Chris Botti's "Lisa", Garbage's "#1 Crush", Tricky's "Christainsands", The Smiths' "How Soon is Now", Thievery Corporation's "Lebanese Blonde", Vanessa Daou's "You", Massive Attack's "Future Proof", Poe's "Wild" and let's close with Duran Duran's "Come Undone". Yeah that's the ticket. Now there's a mix sure to steam up your iPod.
Really the only reason to buy this collection is for the insert cover. It gets my vote for album cover of the year. The one posted with this review is the G version. It's still the lovely Jenna Jameson though minus that bothersome skin colored top. Click here to see the explicit version, but prepare yourself to be thoroughly interrogated about your age. Also note, you will receive a slight shock via your mouse if you are underage and attempting to access this illegally. If you are interested in porn as art, I'd suggest looking at the coffee table book that is part of this same collection and will give you more bang for your buck so to speak. A coffee table book about porn stars? I'm not bold enough to get away with it but perhaps you are. Wouldn't you have a lot of your guests mysteriously disappearing to the bathroom? "Uh yeah, I need some reading material and that meatloaf really isn't cooperating with my stomach so it could be a while."
Check out Vanessa Daou's "You" and Duran Duran's "Come Undone" along with the best cutting edge music on Internet radio featured on Live365's Innovative Radio.
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