Paris Hilton is engaged. I have to think it has something to do with The Burger. It seems too coincidental to me that the announcement of her engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis comes shortly after she raised a ruckus by making love to a hamburger in a national commercial. But Paris apparently went too far. She writhed in sexual ecstasy with every chomp. If a burger could smoke a cigarette after a dalliance, it would have in this case.

Read this funny commentary piece on the world's most irrelevant celebrity at MSNBC.