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Bewitched
By: Mark Runyon | Category: On DVD | 07/03/05 | 08:28 PM
PM Rating System

BewitchedGrade: D+ | Genre: Comedy
Summary: While Bewitched will get its share of chuckles out of you, this humor well is much too dry. The poor writing makes it come across as very disjointed and badly pieced together.

Hollywood seems to be in nostalgic love with all the cheesy television we grew up with as kids. When we plopped down in front of the TV to elbow out a day's worth of school work, we joined up with our faithful friends the Smurfs, Masters of the Universe and Transformers to mesmerize us with their alternate universe until something better came up or dinner chimed. Little did we know that twenty odd years later they'd be adapting these puppies into feature length films? As soon as they bring over Punky Brewster and the Greatest American Hero, we'll know they've gone too far. Bewitched was one of those safe shows from our parent's generation that you could flip over to TBS to fill one of those thirty-minute bites of time. Elizabeth Montgomery could always be counted on for her mischievous twitching nose as she navigated life as a normal housewife with witchy powers.

So as we zing our way forward to the present, Nicole Kidman takes on the broomstick and the pointy hat with Will Ferrell standing in as Darrin (previously played by the two Dicks). If these two seem like the odd couple, your instincts aren't too far off. Kidman doesn't really have a romantic comedy under her belt, so this is new territory for our dramatic mistress. This isn't simply a remake based on the original series. This one has a twist. It's like a picture of a picture which is a picture of a picture which is a...you get the point. The film is set in Hollywood where they are remaking the classic 60s television show. Ferrell's character, Jack Wyatt, is a pompous horse's a$$ whose oversized, bruised ego is coping with having to take the menial role of Darrin in Bewitched after suffering several box office flops. He structures the television show so that he is the star instead of the witch. Kidman plays Isobel who pops into town shunning her supernatural ways, wanting to live life as a normal woman. All that instant gratification of simply snapping her fingers and getting anything she wants just isn't for her. Michael Caine is her disapproving father who wants her to return to her witching ways like a proper daughter should. Isobel revels in the small pleasures of doing things on her own, from opening Coke cans to spastically jumping up and down in excitement like a normal female.

Bewitched
Bewitched
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine, Jason Schwartzman and Stephen Colbert
Director: Nora Ephron

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When Jack happens across Isobel in a bookstore, spotting that perfect twitching nose, he's hooked. He has to have her as his Samantha. After some heavy coaxing, Isobel signs on as Samantha. She's excited about her first real job and the possibilities of a romance with freshly divorced Jack. She sees him as a complete hopeless mess who needs her and that she can take care of. The reality of the situation soon becomes apparent as Jack pushes Isobel out of all of her lines as he monopolizes the camera time. How do you write the witch out of Bewitched? Not very well it seems. The film drags horribly during this stint. Isobel asks herself what Samantha would do, and the kid gloves come off. Hexes start flying around, scenes start rewinding and Jack becomes an emotional ping-pong ball. Put simply, it's just a colossal mess of a script.

Nora and Delia Ephron can be blamed for this flaky writing effort. It's hard for our leads to do anything with this train wreck of a script. It has no idea what it wants to do and doesn't allow the actors to gain any traction with their chemistry or their laughs. Every time we start to build towards something material, we get shoved off in some other direction. It is sad to see Ephron, who gave us such classics as When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle, churning out this swill.

I was beginning to fret over Hollywood's summer fare. Out of all the films I've checked out so far (Cinderella Man, Batman Begins, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith) there have been no plots fished out of the bargain bin. No actors phoning in their performances. No aliens taking over Earth...er well. Bewitched has come along to restore my faith in Hollywood's lackluster summer experience. I mean if we can't count on that, what is there?

While this film will get its share of chuckles out of you, this humor well is much too dry and doesn't keep us amused like it should. Also the film is stuck in an identity crisis as to what it wants to be. The poor writing makes it come across as very disjointed and badly pieced together. Maybe they were going for that choppy episodic television feel? Will Ferrell seems to be having an off day. He builds his character up so effectively to be an obnoxious twat that when he makes his turn toward redemption, we don't care. He's lodged in our head as one ballooning ego and try as we may, we can't pop it. So unless you are a die-hard Bewitched fan, I'd suggest skipping this movie for one of the brighter films this summer. Let's hope for greener pastures among summer's other television remake, the Dukes of Hazzard. If nothing else the trailer seems to suggest Jessica Simpson's assets are being put to good use, and I'm certainly not talking about her songwriting ability.

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