Stacked: Season 2 Premiere
By: Mark Runyon | Category: Show Review | 11/15/05 | 08:33 AM
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Grade: D- | Genre: Comedy
Summary: Curiosity alone will probably force you to halt your mindless channel flipping to ogle the sexy Pamela Anderson. Just as you learned with Barb Wire and your brilliant plan to eat a box of Twinkies for dinner in high school, simply because it fills the space doesn't mean you can escape feeling all empty inside afterwards.
So have you ever wondered what a show would look like that focused solely on a pair of breasts? Ladies, that was largely a guy question in case you were caught in the crossfire. Well wonder no more because Stacked is exactly that, and Pamela Anderson has been gracious enough to contribute her global endowments to this worthy cause. It's not going to spark an end to world hunger or anything, but we all have to do our part to make the world a better place. So Stacked follows around Pamela's breasts, and various other sensual body parts, in a Barnes and Noble-type joint filled with dweeby book employees, letting the hilarity try to be contained like Pamela's bra puckering at the seams. I mean Pamela Anderson and walls upon walls of books go together as naturally as peanut butter slathered on jelly. Why hasn't someone slapped this ingenious mix together before? All horribly veiled sarcasm aside, Stacked makes for incredibly dull television. The laughs are empty, the sitcom formulaic, and the heaving ex-Boobwatch beauty is starting to lose a bit of spin on her serve with the escape of years. |
In the season 2 premiere, Skyler (Pamela Anderson) has a problem with saying "I love you." She seems to be afflicted with the opposite problem as most guys, saying it to basically everyone she works with. Each person that receives it spins out this seemingly kindhearted gesture of appreciation differently. Katrina (Marissa Janet Winokur) is convinced Skyler is about to hit her up for a fat loan. Harold (Christopher Lloyd) figures she must be dying of a disease that only afflicts trees. Stuart's Mr. happy rises to the conclusion that she wants him to form fit against her like a body glove. Then we've got Gavin (Elon Gold) who strangely gets no lovin'.
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What do you mean this book
doesn't come in pink?
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| Stacked |
| Starring: Pamela Anderson, Elon Gold, Brian Scolaro, Marissa Jaret Winokur & Christopher Lloyd |
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After criticizing her for smearing the sincerity of the L-word, he panders relentlessly for those three little words, playing it off like he could care less. That, in all its complexity, fills 22 minutes. Like the denser than balsawood Skyler, you can see there's not much brewing below the surface, and you'd surely pop a blood vessel in your forehead if you tried to probe this comedy to extract a few clever puns or even the occasional biting wit. The lowest common denominator of low-browed humor is the undisputed king on Stacked.
So the funnies blatantly bitch slap you in the face. In one scene, Skyler is wearing a big time designer Pucci dress, which you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out where the laughs are going to get targeted. Skyler's muffin fumble becomes, "I got blueberry all over my Pucci," which prompts the inevitable "well what do you expect with a skirt that short." I've heard more original humor off the wrapper of a Laffy Taffy.
As a sitcom, Stacked is horribly formulaic like some bland 80s comedy infused with a stripper. It's just a notch above resorting to lines like, "golly gee her dress is short. For some reason, it gives me a funny feeling inside." This show needs to be either a racy comedy or simply be cancelled. Personally, my vote is for the later. There's way too much useless filler on the boob tube as is.
Really the only thing you take away from Stacked is that Pamela Anderson is hot. Uh duh! Stacked is like a Playboy mag where the models forgot to take off their clothes, but they talk instead. It kind of sucks the point out of it doesn't it? Though Ms. Anderson still has it firmly going on, its hard not to see her creeping past her prime. Lines are starting to set in and the inevitability of age is beginning to take hold. That's fine if you have substance to fall back on, but if you live your life on the surface when the dust jacket starts to get nipped corners, people are going to start fondling the new releases. It doesn't help her case that "is he or isn't he" boyfriend Kid Rock is loitering around the show, reminding us of the mismatch of the century. And people thought Lyle Lovett took a header out of the ugly tree. There's really nothing redeemable about Rock's shaggy ass.
So please for the love of all that's Holly, skip out on the skimpily dressed Pamela, and opt for a smart comedy that's not going to munch on your brain cells as you watch. Might I suggest The Office, Everybody Hates Chris or Scrubs should NBC ever remove its head from its ass and reinstate its best comedy. If you need to get your rocks off, surf online for porn, or tune into Skin-a-max. Stacked is much too high a price to pay for that pleasure.
Don't believe me? Experience the misery for yourself on Fox Wednesday nights at 8:30/7:30c.
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