Jimminy flippin' Christmas. Have I mentioned today what a lucky SOB John Mayer is? The always lovely and incredibly enticing Jennifer Aniston is draped over this months cover of GQ in nothing but a patrotic necktie. Jennifer strips down to bare all in a host of revealing shots that show why she was always the sexiest Friend, and how 40 looks better by the day. For those article readers out there, Jen opens up about her relationship with Mayer, this silly Jen - Angelina - Brad love triangle the tabloids giddily perpetuate, and some other nonsense. Do yourself a favor. Skip the words and dive straight into the pictures using the handy link below. Believe me, you'll thank me.

Source: GQ

News flash at 11, K-Fed was a mistake, I repeat. Britney Spears says K-Fed was a mistake. This should be labeled most redundant statement of the year. In a new 90-minute MTV documentary entitled Britney: For the Record, she says "I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing what really made me happy, I just did it for the sake of the idea of everything." Britney admitted to having a rough time with the limitations on her life in the past year. She says she has changed her ways and learned from her mistakes. For the sake of her wildly unstable career, I hope she has.

Source: MSNBC

It seems everyone's favorite white trash celebrity just can't seem to keep her clothes on. Very pregnant and very much a brunette, Britney Spear's is appearing naked on the cover of this month's Harper's Bazaar magazine. The singer, who has been caught up in a whirlwind of controversy over dropping babies and her unstable relationship with sewer rat K-Fed, seems to be courting the limelight again. I guess after you make a blinding fool out of yourself on national TV, you have to have something to dose the flames.

Source: Digital Journal

Well it seems K-Fed has knocked up Britney Spears yet again according to US Weekly. Brit was evidently seen noticeably pregnant poolside at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas over the weekend, and the magazine's sources confirmed the suspicion. Rumors of her pregnancy with a second child surfaced in February and were shot down by her publicist, but the new report has them pretty tight lipped. I hope the couple isn't counting on K-Fed's burgeoning rap career to keep this kid in diapers.

Source: MSNBC

"Moses?" Seriously? You thought "Apple" was a name that would get Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's first born stuffed into many a locker, but Moses trumps all. The couple's second baby and first boy was born last weekend in New York and will have to get used to having his lunch money stolen all thanks to Mum and Dad. Moses, possibly named after Martin's ode to Paltrow a few years back, keeps the "biblical" theme alive so don't be surprised if "2 Samuel" joins the bunch.

Source: CNN

Jessica's star is in the stratosphere after showing off her Daisy Dukes in the Dukes of Hazzard. The newly single starlet is lighting up the dating scene after being connected with everyone from Adam Levine (Maroon 5) to Jude Law. It seems Nick is swallowing every ounce of manhood he had left after his boy band days, asking Jess to support his free loading ass. Not only that, but Lachey wants his junk back. He filed with the legal system to get "miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects" returned. Its always a shame to see a man voluntarily castrated like this. Please tell me somebody has plans for a 98 Degrees reunion before he sinks any lower.

Source: Heckler Spray

Well the speculation over the ridiculous "are they or aren't they" couple is officially over as Brad has slipped one past the goalie, readying the couple for their first child together. After weeks of rampant rumors, People magazine quoted Jolie as telling a charity worker in the Dominican Republic that she was indeed pregnant. Pitt is currently going through the legal red tape to adopt Jolie's two children Maddox and Zahara. Aniston's publicist wasn't inclined to comment on the actresses' reaction to the joyous news. If I had to speculate, I think there would either be a voodoo doll or a week's supply of Kleenex involved.

Source: IMDB

Let the betting begin on how bad Kevin Federline's (or Mr. Britney Spears as he's known to most) rap album is going to bomb in the new year. Anticipating the fan frenzy, Federline has made a web site so his one hysterical fan can pop in and read the musing of a professional boy toy. The site starts with a flash presentation of the Spear's family tabloid exploits, then carries you over to his content rich site containing not much, even less and pretty much zilch. Just wait until Britney wakes up and drops his mooching ass. This sucker is going to be in the bargain bin faster than you can say "Ice Ice Baby." Don't worry Kevin. We're saving room for you on the Surreal Life.

Checkout the Kevster at kevinfederline.com

Well they may not be officially "going steady," but they may soon be splitting the diaper changing and feeding duties. Brad Pitt is seeking to become the adoptive father of Angelina Jolie's two adopted children, having his surname officially hitched to hers. In the July issue of GQ, Pitt said his recent trip to Africa spurred him on to adopt. After swiping Zhara from Ethiopia in July, Jolie is said to be looking to adopt again. A round baker's dozen would be nice or perhaps enough to form the Pitt-Jolie baseball team for family gatherings. Ah and people wonder why the children of Hollywood starlets are so mucked up in the head.

Source: E!

After a half season of bitching about pregger Jennifer Garner on Alias, the rugrat has finally shot through the escape hatch. The baby girl has been named Violet and was born at 6:26pm on Thursday. She is said to have followed after mom, karate chopping the doc on the way out, and has already shown an eye for picking stinker scripts like dear ol' dad.

Source: MSNBC

Does Janet Jackson have an 18 year-old daughter named Renee? According to her former Brother-In-Law, Young DeBarge, Miss Jackson (if you're nasty) gave birth to a baby girl while she was married to James DeBarge. He claims that "Renee was sent away to live with the star's eldest sister Rebbie." It wouldn't be the first time a huge revelation of Janet was uncovered. Her 8-year marriage to Rene Elzondo was a big secret to all before the couple split in '99.

Source: News.com.au

...Off Ebay, that is. To help with the Hurricane Katrina Disaster relief, the pop princess put up dozens of wardrobe and personal items on the online auction site, but decided to take the jewel-encrusted bra down because of incorrect information that could mislead fans. Yes, it was actually worn by Spears, but not on her tour which is what the site claimed. Next up on the auction block, her singing career.

Source: CNN

Now this should pack the theatre seats. The much-ridiculed Tom Cruise first dragged poor Katie Holmes into his freaky Scientology world, hypnotized her into saying she'd marry him, and now he's knocked her up before making an honest woman of her. Evidently while perfecting his couch jumping technique one evening, he inadvertently fell into Katie's hey-ho, and now doe eyed Joey is preggers. Wait until Dawson finds out about this snake in the grass. Oh it's so on.

Source: Seattle Times

Playboy playmate, ex-stripper and reality TV black hole Anna Nicole Smith is taking a stand for gold diggers everywhere by taking her case straight to the highest court in the land. She is asking that they give her the rightful $474 million she's earned by sleeping with then marrying the decrepit 90-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall. Just because she wasn't in his will doesn't mean she shouldn't get compensated. You'd pay a prostitute for her services so why should this be any different?

Source: Yahoo News

One of the sexiest women in Hollywood has dusted herself off after being drug through the tabloid scum and says she's ready to start looking for love again. Now that she's officially divorced, she made the critical announcement on Oprah without any couch leaping antics. From interview excerpts, she sounds in a very healthy state of mind when quizzed on her place in life and looking forward. Girl is definitely staying busy. She has two films releasing this year; Derailed with Clive Owen and Rumor Has It with Kevin Costner, and two queued up for next year.

Source: E! Online

No this isn't the sequel to her wildly successful Internet porn video, or the low rent cousin of Indecent Proposal. Paris Hilton and Colin Farrell auctioned themselves off in a charity event to help victims of the Hurricane. Farrell landed $20,000 from a woman taken with the feisty Irishman, and Paris drew a whopping $200,000 for the pleasure of spending New Year's Eve with the world's most irrelevant celebrity. Now this guy is aware that she doesn't use her considerable talent on just anyone, right?

Source: IMDB

Um attention everyone. Sean John Combs, the artist formerly known as P. Diddy, formerly known as Puff Daddy, will be changing his nickname to Diddy. Due to Mr. Combs own confusion on what to call himself, he will be simplifying things a bit. Thank you for your cooperation.

Source: USA Today

I know he's guilty. You know he's guilty. Dang it even O.J. Simpson knows he's guilty. Wait a minute, wrong trial. It seems three of the Jackson jurors are having a crisis of conscious after acquitting the fruitcake on all accounts of child molestation last month. They are claiming that there was reasonable doubt in the case in hand, but believe that the entertainer is a child molester. The water gets ever muddier when you plug in two of the jurors have book deals going.

Source: San Diego Union Tribune

Our favorite "Runaway Bride," Jennifer Wilbanks, has completed hour 16 of 120 as part of her court-ordered community service today as she mowed the lawn of a government building in Gwinnet County, Georgia. Sporting the usual orange community service vest and running shoes, Miss Banks smiled and talked briefly to reporters recording every snip. "Life is Good" is what her cap read as she has also plans to move on to her assigned car washing duties.

Source: CNN

The Island director Michael Bay said he was thrown for a loop when Scarlett Johansson was adamant about doing a love scene in the film topless. Given the film's PG-13 rating, Bay couldn't let that happen. Evidently, the black bra that was chosen for the scene was unflattering, and Johansson refused to wear it. Isn't it bad enough we have to sit through this action orgy, but can't Bay give us something to make this worth our $9?

Source: IMDB

By now everyone knows of Jude's infidelity with the nanny. A move his character in Closer would no doubt recognize. Now Sienna Miller, Jude's perhaps ex-fiancee, is getting advice from the unlikeliest of places -- Jude's ex-wife Sadie Frost. Frost is quoted as saying "I just want to say publicly that I feel for her. I feel very sorry for her. I think she is young and has a great career ahead of her -- but I do feel very sorry for her." She went on to say she saw similarities between the situation and her own relationship with Jude and would be happy to be a sympathetic shoulder for Sienna if needed. I only have one question for Jude, the same one every guy who watched Alfie has. How do you cheat on Sienna Miller? You need your bleedin' head examined mate.

Source: Daily Telegraph

If it weren't bad enough that he used Oprah's couch as a trampoline over his new love, Katie Holmes, now he is kicking commenters in the teeth when they conflict with his wacky Scientology beliefs. Matt Lauer last week questioned Cruise's stance against psychiatry and in doing so let all of the hens out of the hen house. Cruise spouted off that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, calling ritalin a street drug and dismissed psychiatry a psuedo-science. The carefully cultivated Cruise image that has supported his shining film career has been virtually obliterated within a month. Tom, hire your old publicist back so she can get you to shut up. Get a grip man. We really don't want to see how crazy you actually are.

See the love drunk loon's infamous episode on Oprah on iFilm.

"Michael Jackson, on behalf of mandkind, we're sorry" read one of the posters held by loyal fans outside the California courthouse where the verdict was read. It's a huge victory for the King of Pop and affords him the right to go home to Neverland Ranch where he's planning the biggest sleepover of all sleepovers. Did we really think that Jackson would go to jail? He settled the first time around, totally swept all 10 counts of child molestation with the "Not Guilty" verdict this time, and will probably do the same again when more allegations are made public. It's the Justice System at its best.

Evidently Katie Holmes' new relationship with couch jumping Tom Cruise has many, many concerned. Will he use poor little Joey and discard her like a dirty rag? Some of her fans have created a new website www.freeKatie.net which is selling t-shirts, caps, buttons and mugs. The site prompts the reader to "join the movement to liberate Katie, a young, gifted, actress held captive by forces we may never understand. Even one summer of captivity is too long for one so bright!" Quick catch her before she becomes a Scientologist.

Source: Yahoo Movies

Paris Hilton is engaged. I have to think it has something to do with The Burger. It seems too coincidental to me that the announcement of her engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis comes shortly after she raised a ruckus by making love to a hamburger in a national commercial. But Paris apparently went too far. She writhed in sexual ecstasy with every chomp. If a burger could smoke a cigarette after a dalliance, it would have in this case.

Read this funny commentary piece on the world's most irrelevant celebrity at MSNBC.

Trump University? Donald Trump stamps his name on yet another business venture, this time via online education. "The Donald" has every intention on making money charging $300 per class offering "Ongoing opportunities for valuable interaction with Trump and other experts combine to provide a unique resource." I wonder if there will be a football team. Look out for The Trump Bowl coming soon. Read more.

Need 10 reasons why you should watch Mr. and Mrs. Federline's "Chaotic" reality series that chronicles the couples courtship, engagement and wedding? Well, here they are anyways.

Seriously? Why make J-Lo suffer for the actions of J-Fo? In the end, we are all losers. Read the full article and don't miss PM's Review of Monster-in-Law.

Did anyone see ABC's Pimetime Live report of Corey Clark's allegations against Paula Abdul? I don't deny that it was convincing or that my judgements may have been swayed in Clark's favor because of it, but it would help to hear Adul's side of things. This weekend, she will take her rebuttal on the highly credible (sarcasm folks), Saturday Night Live, in hopes of reaffirming to her fans and media that the allegations are false and contrived. Obviously, Abdul wants to make light of the situation, but is SNL the smartest decision? I guess we'll see in the days after her appearance.

Seriously? It's amazing what some people will put a price on. Plus, there's no guarantee that it did, in fact, belong to Mrs. Federline. On that note, the wife and I recently took a couple of tests and are currently taking bids. Read the full article.

Feeling a little left behind since first love Britney Spears is now married and expecting, Justin Timberlake is reportedly planning a wedding with his current girl Cameron Diaz. Expect an possible annulment and baby news to come. Read more.